omg why do i suck so much?

okay. so. last year? i got super motivated and started running and eating like a pound of broccoli a day and drinking only water and iced tea and the occasional triple grande nonfat latte with cinnamon powder on top from starbucks. and tonight? i ate bueno. and guess what? it wasn't even the first time i'd done that in a while. also guess what? it was not very good.

i may have also had two - or three by the time i've written this blog - glasses of wine (red diamond merlot, which is SO SO SO yummy and makes me feel classy because i am drinking red wine. shut up. i know drinking it with bueno kind of takes away the class. but still it was good. and kind of made me forget how crappy my party burrito tasted.).

anyway. i don't know what my deal is, or has been, for the last four months or so. because i really liked the changes i made last year. i felt good. i was starting to look kind of good. that may have been the tan, but whatever. i'll give the water and broccoli some credit here. and also. the best part? i had TONS of energy.

most of those things are gone right now. and i am not stating that to be whiny or melodramatic. because you know what? some of those have been replaced by some really good things. and i am actually really content with a big part of life right now. which is probably why those things have kind of shifted to the back of my focus.

but yeah. i need to get some focus back. i'll let you know how that goes....