Saturday, April 19, 2008

only in texas - rated pg for mild language

part one:

i was at weight watchers this morning with melissa. the topic was how to get past all of the excuses we give about not exercising. (honestly, kind of a topic i needed to hear lately, as the 'my foot hurts' is getting to be a pretty thin reason for not running. even though it REALLY DOES hurt.)

anyway. we were coming up with a list of common excuses and people were calling out things like "tired" and "no time" and "i don't like to do it" and "my foot hurts." then, the lady next to me - not melissa - calls out, "i don't want my hair to fall." yes. you read that right.

texas = big hair.

(and yes, i know my title says "only in texas," when really that statement probably could have been uttered anywhere in the south and probably in some parts of new jersey. still. it is funny.)

____________________________________________

part two:

one thing i've learned working in middle schools is that for some reason 7th and 8th grade boys CANNOT keep their hands to themselves. (being that i was never a 7th or 8th grade boy and that i was probably too shy to talk to any 7th or 8th grade boys, i honestly never knew this about the species.) with the end of the school year coming so quickly, i think the hyper-tactile gene/neuron/somerandombiotermhere has kicked into overdrive. everywhere i turn they are picking at each other, which is just what was happening as i came to my classroom after lunch yesterday. instead of just saying, 'no no stop that' or something similar, i unfortunately had to, like, be a real teacher/adult when one of the offending kiddos said, 'what the hell?' to the other.

sigh.

so i put on my mean face and had a 'discussion' about how inappropriate his response was. his teacher, my next door neighbor, kaci, joined in on the 'discussion' that was turning rather lengthy because this kiddo was trying to explain to me that 'what the hell' was not swearing. kaci, being much cooler and more on-the-ball than i was at the moment, asked him to explain when it would be appropriate to use the word HELL. without missing a beat, this young ruffian (sorry - kiddo was getting old) said, "well. you could use it to describe a weather event."

yall. he meant this -



what makes this even more hilarious to me is that kaci - who not only is awesome, but who has also spent her entire life before teaching in dfw living in WEST TEXAS - knew exactly what he meant, didn't even flinch, and kept on going with the 'discussion' like what he said was perfectly normal, whilst (sorry, in the middle of teaching shakespeare) i stood there trying not to laugh in this poor child's face.


*full disclosure: yes. i am completely aware that i often affect the same accent. there is no need to remind me of this. my fourth period does on a daily basis.*

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh,yeah, I can relate, and I am still chuckling, or my shoulders are shaking, or something's happening within me like joy / laughter / hilarious, uproarious guffaws maybe? The 7th grade boy thing is a phenomenon indeed. I told my mom, the ex-h.s. teacher, the other day about the 7th grade boy touching thing, and she asked if it's hormonal. I've decided it must be. They aren't brave enough to touch girls, so they have to touch one another, only usually in a "we were jus' playin'" sort of way. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's going insane watching it!

sarah said...

i like your theory. it makes total sense! i think this year is worse than i have ever seen it. maybe something in the water?

joeks said...

Hi! I just found your blog via your Aunt J's.

Your school stories--oh so true! You did well not to laugh out loud at the "young ruffian"--afraid I just might have done so.

sarah said...

thanks for reading joeks. i have to admit that i have blog-stalked you a little! :)

i'm pretty shocked i didn't laugh. at this time of year i don't really have a filter . . .